Raison d'etre
by Katsura
Summary: AU. Rukia is invited to the Kuchiki house for tea, only to be told that the lady of the house... is her sister! Spoilers for manga to ch.181, ByakuHisana, eventual ByakuRuki. Rating will likely change in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, and I am making no profit from this story.

Author's Notes: Ahhhh the fruits of my labours come to fruitition... I started this story just a few days before National Novel Writing Month started, and halfway through November I decided to switch to writing this instead of the idea I'd been working on. Thirty-three thousand words joined the 20k of the other story and I had a half-completed novel. This is cobbled together from various movies I've seen, books I've read, some things that just sounded good or appropriate, and very careful dissection of Bleach itself ;) (In other words, I spent too much time reading Bleach when I should have been working on the novel...)

This is an AU where Hisana did not die before Rukia was adopted into the Kuchiki family. Spoilers for the manga (all chapters, just to be safe), anime at least until 64-ish (I am not current on the episodes). Pairings of Byakuya/Hisana, eventual Byakuya/Rukia, mentions of other pairings in much later chapters. And it's gonna be LONG. At least 50K in word count. I hope you enjoy it. Please feel free to leave reviews of any kind. (CC is welcome to be brutal!)

Thanks to Haritori for the initial beta, and all the people who've supported my insane novelling endeavour for the fifth year, and anyone who's had to listen to me fangirl over Bleach lately. I promise the notes will be shorter next time.

* * *

_**Raison d'etre**_

_(Reason for being)_

**Chapter 1**

Life in the Seireitei was said to be better than anything in Rukongai. Rukia believed this most wholeheartedly, and compared to life in Inuzuri, it simply had to be true. She'd even met a shinigami once, who'd treated her most kindly when she fell over at his feet, gripped by the strangest feeling of weakness she'd ever felt in her whole life. Then all of her friends had slowly died, all but Renji, and as she stood on the hill where they'd built memorial graves for the only family they had ever known, she said those immortal words.

_"Let's become Shinigami."_

Renji, bless his stupid heart, had agreed.

It took them a few months to get up the requirements to even apply, and thankfully, they had both passed. It occurred to her later that one or both of them might have been denied entrance, and then they would have had to return to Inuzuri. It didn't seem likely at the time; they were both competent at making a ball of spiritual energy that had never failed to impress their friends, how could they be turned away? But she had seen others around her being sent home, before she was approved for entrance. It had been the single happiest moment of her life, next to finding the boys who'd become her family.

Life in the academy was not all it seemed. She had only heard stories about the Seireitei itself, and nothing else. They said that no one went hungry there. And while that was certainly true, the life of a student was a hard one to adjust to. She and Renji had both quickly learned what their place in the pecking order of the academy was. Students from Rukongai were not as common as they might have thought, and they had to fight for their places among the sons and daughters of the noble families.

To make it worse, they couldn't even _read_. They spent hours studying together just to be able to keep up, and Rukia was very reluctant to reveal to the other girls in her dorm that she couldn't read. It hadn't been a necessity of life to be able to read while simply existing in the dusty streets of Inuzuri. There was one other girl in the dorms from the Rukongai, from the south 47th district, who also couldn't read, and when the noble girls found out, they teased her mercilessly, and not in a friendly way, either. She took care not to let that fact get out to them. Thankfully, reading came easily to her, and before long, she was completely caught up.

She found that she could not get along with the other girls. Renji had made several friends among the boys, and she wished she could easily join their ranks. She felt more comfortable around boys. One particularly annoying girl with a big attitude and a scathing (but not witty) manner about her had tried to intimidate Rukia, and had quickly learned that the petite girl could not be intimidated. She'd earned a month of detention for that, and the threat of expulsion on the next such incident kept her in line. The other girls could have made an issue about that, but thankfully, they now left her alone. The downside was, she had no friends at all, except Renji.

And as their first year progressed, Renji was getting ahead of her in leaps and bounds. It was depressing, almost, the way he was outstripping her. But it also gave her the incentive she needed to keep up with her studies, and try her hardest. Her studies were going well for all the effort she put into them.

But she still wasn't completely happy here. It was nothing like she had imagined. And yet, she couldn't give up and go back to Inuzuri. She had sacrificed a lot to come here, even if it didn't look like it, and there was just no way she could go back. Not anymore. Especially not if Renji was staying here. She would prove them wrong. She would make it.

It was about a year after they'd joined the academy. Renji was getting to do all sorts of fun things as part of his class, and she was stuck doing the same old boring things she'd always done. The past year of alienation, isolation and deliberate exclusion by the other girls was beginning to wear her down, and it was a fight every day to tell herself that she would succeed. For someone who'd grown up believing only in herself, and relying only on herself, having to fight for what she wanted to succeed at more than anything was tiring. It wasn't just mere survival anymore. It was pride.

But despite it all, she was still enjoying learning new skills. She would prove herself. No one would have cause to deny her right to be full member of the Seireitei.

On this particular day, Rukia was staring out a window over-looking the courtyard, watching the students below engaging in various activities. She was a bit wistful as she watched; amongst them was her old friend, Renji, and to say she didn't envy him would have been a lie. They had entered the academy at the same time, and at the time, she had been the better student. But once they were in, Renji quickly outstripped her, especially in swordsmanship, which was what she was working on right now. True, she was better at kidou and foot-work than he was, but that didn't matter –

A light _ahem_ at her shoulder drew her attention away from the courtyard, to find a young man dressed in the livery of one of the noble houses – which one, she wasn't sure, but she knew she'd seen it around – standing at a respectful distance from her, clearly waiting for her attention. He gave a short bow upon realizing she had given it, while she looked around to see if he could possibly be waiting for someone else. But there was no else near her, except for curious onlookers.

"Miss Rukia," he said as he straightened, looking past her shoulder. "You are formally invited to the Kuchiki house this Saturday afternoon for tea." He bowed smartly again, presenting her with an envelope emblazoned with a plum blossom.

She reached out to take it automatically, completely dumbfounded. A messenger from the Kuchiki family? Why, that didn't make sense. What could she possibly have done to draw their attention to her?

"May I return with a favorable reply?" the messenger asked then, once again upright and not looking at her.

"Ah – Yes –" she stammered. Refusing hadn't even crossed her mind.

"Thank you for your time," the young man said, bowing a third time before turning and walking away.

Rukia looked down at the envelope in her hands, staring at the paper almost as if it was someone else's hands that held it. The students around her started chattering amongst themselves, mostly in hushed whispers, their eyes focused on her and the note she held. Quickly, she stuffed it into her sleeve and turned down the hall, hurrying away. She wanted to stash it away in her dorm before anyone could question her about it. Her mind tumbled over the short conversation over and over again, confused about many of the details. Why had they come looking for her? And why had she even agreed?

She never made it to the dorm, as the students who'd been in the courtyard were done, and filing back into the academy in pairs and threes. Renji's height and brilliant ruby-red hair made him easy to see over the heads of everyone around him, and her feet changed direction once she spotted him in order to intercept him.

"Oi, Rukia!" he said with a grin, spotting her diminutive form amidst the familiar backs of his fellow classmates. The grin quickly faded when he saw her serious face, moving to meet her halfway with something that might have resembled concern. It was unlike her to look so serious. "Hey, what's up?" he asked when he caught up with her.

She didn't look up at him as she might have done, under normal circumstances. "Not here," was all she said.

He was confused for a moment. "Rukia..."

"You had lunch yet?" she interrupted anything he might have said.

"Uh – no –"

"Good." She looked up at him with an unreadable gaze. "The usual place." She pushed past him and was gone before he could even ask why.

The usual place was underneath a twisted cherry tree on the edge of the academy grounds, where few students ever went during lunch. They'd spent many lunches there in the early days, before they'd made any friends, just the two of them. Rukia still went there most days, often climbing high into the tree's branches to eat her lunch in peace. Renji rarely joined her anymore. She had tried to eat lunch with him and his friends, but despite their similar backgrounds and her friendship with Renji, it just hadn't worked out. She preferred eating alone.

She was out there first, unopened lunch set before her as she knelt on the neatly trimmed grass, staring off into space. Renji made his approach very obvious, but she remained oblivious. He stood over her for a moment, and when she didn't acknowledge him, he nudged her in the side with his foot. She fell over, loudly exclaiming her surprise as she hit the ground. "You could warn a person!" she said, rather rudely, glaring up at him.

He rolled his eyes at her, getting down onto his knees and opening his lunch. "I only walked across the lawn like I owned the place," he said, also with a rude edge to his words. Neither felt the need to stand on formality with the other, and they usually dropped the polite words they used in front of the other students. "It's not my fault you weren't paying attention. What's with you today anyway? You're acting weird."

He may have meant the words teasingly, but the humor – if there was any – was lost on her. He pretended not to notice her silence, digging into his lunch with fervor.

When she spoke again, it was to describe the messenger and the letter. Renji's eyes nearly fell out of his head before she'd even finished. He certainly choked on the water he was drinking. "What?" he sputtered, once he was finished coughing.

She was too unsettled to be annoyed, and rather than repeat herself, she drew the envelope out of her sleeve and handed it to him. He took it from her gingerly, almost as if he expected it to burst into flames, and turned it over a few times. "May I?" he asked, a somewhat rare show of courtesy.

She merely nodded, not trusting her voice.

He removed the folded piece of paper from inside, opening it and reading. Again. And again. And a fourth time. Eyes scanning the crisp strokes yet again, he asked, "Are you going?"

"I have to," she replied, weakly. "I already said yes."

Renji whistled under his breath. He refolded the note gingerly and slid it back into the envelope, handing it back to her. "That's... really unexpected," he said.

She nodded, not trusting her voice. He really had no idea.

"Well, if you're already going, at least let me walk you there," he said, somewhat gruffly. More like his usual self. He lifted his chin to a near-arrogant angle, daring her to challenge him. But she had no intention of doing so, and just staring at the ground. There was no fun in being intimidating if the person didn't react, even for fun, so he dropped the act. "Rukia... you can still say no," he said, softly.

She looked up at him, shaking her head. "No... it would be terribly bad manners when I already agreed. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous..."

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a couple moments, when Rukia seemed to come back to herself, pushing Renji over with a punch to his shoulder. "Don't worry about me, you big oaf!" she said, loudly. As if anyone was nearby to even hear. "You just watch out for yourself, I'm going to kick your ass at everything."

Renji picked himself up from the ground, glaring at her. "I'll take that bet," he growled. Rukia merely stuck her tongue out at him. "Loser has to do chores for a year!"

"Deal!" She spat in her hand and stuck it out; he mimicked the motion and they clasped their hands together, sealing the deal.

* * *

Saturday arrived, and Rukia's stomach was in knots. Finished with her classes for the morning, she stopped by the bathhouse to quickly run some water over her face and through her hair to freshen up a little. The day didn't seem real. She half-wished she would wake up, and find it all to be a dream.

But nothing changed, and she changed out of her uniform and into the best yukata she owned, fussing with the hemline and hoping the worn spots were adequately covered. She preferred the higher hemlines of her Rukongai days, but they were not appropriate for the Seireitei, never mind tea with a noble family. She ran her hands over her hair, and smoothed down the front of her yukata even though it hadn't moved. Her obi was tied in a simple butterfly knot, firmly at the small of her back. Tea would be soon. She ought to go.

Renji was waiting for her outside. He walked her as far as the gates of the family's house, making inane conversation. She couldn't remember a single thing that they talked about. Once there, he wordlessly, he clasped a hand on her shoulder, fingers tightening there for a brief moment. He could go no further. Rukia stared straight ahead, willing some of Renji's strength into herself. Gathering her courage, she mentally thanked him for his support, her arm rising to place her hand over his, indicating her readiness. She was sure she would never be ready, and almost wanted him not to let her go. But he did, his apprehension palatable. She took a deep breath, steeling herself and stepping forward.

It was kind of funny to think that she was scared, but she was. Gone was the tough street rat from Inuzuri. Getting into the academy was a huge achievement, one she was very glad her and Renji had tried for, an done that seemed to have crowned her whole life and left nothing that could eclipse it. The front of the house was as unassuming as any building in Inuzuri, except for being a lot cleaner and in much better repair. And it was enormous. The wall stretched out for a good fifty paces on either side of the wooden door set into the side of it. She lifted her hand timidly to rap against the solid surface, only to get a good two taps in before it was opened by a young woman in a plain yukata, her hair tied back in a simple bun, and her gaze lowered to the floor. "Good afternoon, Rukia-sama," the maid said, bowing deeply. She felt even more uncomfortable at the honorific and deference being shown to her. She was not worthy of it. The maid stepped back, allowing her to enter the small foyer, where she paused to remove her sandals. The maid stepped up into the house proper, and waited on one side. "Please, follow me."

Rukia slipped her feet into the slippers waiting at the top of the single step. The maid waited until she was ready, and then led the way down the tatami-covered hallway. They passed several rooms and more than one display of art, and it was hard to know where to look.

Finally, they reached a closed door. The maid stopped and knelt, sliding the door open. "In here, please," she said politely, bowing where she knelt and resting there with her head down. Rukia felt so uncomfortable and out of place, and didn't know if she should thank the maid on her way in. She stuttered a reply of some sort of thanks, feeling the need to say _something_, and stepped into the room.

"Please have a seat," the maid said from the doorway, rising to her feet. "I will inform the lord and lady that you have arrived." The door was slid shut, leaving her alone.

The room was small, being only maybe a dozen tatami mats in area. A small table sat in the middle, with a white cushion on one side and a pair of white cushions on the other. Against one wall sat a low table with a dried flower arrangement on it, and on the wall above it was a beautiful watercolor painting.

She assumed the double cushion was for the lord and lady – somehow, she hadn't thought she was going to meet the head of the family, and the idea of it made her stomach twist in nervousness – so she folded herself delicately onto the single cushion, hands clenched tightly together in her lap. She hoped that the tension caused by the clenching wasn't visible.

The door on the far side of the room slid open, seeming noisy in the quiet room, and causing Rukia to start. Her head snapped around, blinking. Was the meeting about to commence? Behind the paper-paneled door was a tall man in a dark kimono, dark hair bound up into three rows of white kenseikan, standing next to a diminutive woman in layers of kimono that seemed to be made of colors found only in flowers. Rukia couldn't help but stare at them – her eyes were initially drawn to the man, who'd appeared in the doorway first. He had an unreadable and serious expression, and eyes that seemed to stare right through anything they rested on. So intense was his gaze, as his eyes rested on her very briefly, that she didn't really notice the woman at his side until he looked at her. Rukia looked at her then as well, feeling her breath stop in her throat. It was almost like looking in a mirror, she thought, knowing her own reflection rather well, and this woman, though slightly older than she, was nearly a twin. Was such a thing possible? Rukia had no idea, and her mind could come up with no explanation.

She seemed dwarfed not only by the man at her side, but by the kimono itself. It was especially apparent when the man took her arm gently and led her into the room, her tiny, delicate steps belying the bulk of her clothing. Perhaps she was cold? Rukia was aware of her heart pounding in her ears, her thoughts running away a mile a minute. Both of them moved with a quiet, effortless grace, even as the woman knelt first, the man following suit. Rukia's eyes darted between them, at a complete loss as to what to say or do.

The man merely sat where he was, eyes closed (or simply lowered enough to appear closed), while the woman met Rukia's eyes with a shy determination. "Rukia..." Her voice was much higher in pitch than Rukia's, throwing out the vague notion of a clone. "It is a great pleasure to meet you. Thank you for coming."

"It was my pleasure," Rukia replied, unsure of the appropriateness of the response. "Thank you for inviting me."

The woman spoke again, glancing at the man next to her briefly. "Well, you must be wondering why you were invited here," she started, and Rukia resisted the urge to burst out with a nervous "yes!", instead limiting her response to a simple nod. "Well, first, let me introduce myself and my husband." She inclined her head, lowering her gaze briefly. "This is my husband, Byakuya-sama, and my name is Hisana."

Ohhh, she did remember Kuchiki Byakuya, and wondered why the name had never clicked in her mind after receiving the invitation. She had never seen him, only heard his name spoken amongst some of the older students and teachers. He was the youngest Kuchiki head, and the most powerful shinigami the family had ever produced. Some said that he was sure to take over the head of the Gotei 13 when the old man currently in charge either retired or died, but that theory was not terribly popular. She glanced at him in a kind of fear; he was still sitting there with his eyes closed. "I-it's nice to meet you," she stammered, bowing at the waist as far as she could, head nearly touching the table. She nearly introduced herself, catching herself before she could. They already knew her name.

A soft knock at the door announced the presence of a pair of maids, who bustled into the room with a tray of tea, which they set on the table, poured three cups and set in front of each of them with efficiency, and then removed themselves from the room. The man – Kuchiki-sama, she reminded herself – took his cup without looking at it, sipping at the steaming contents with a delicateness that Renji would never, ever display. Hisana merely cupped her hands around the hot ceramic cup, and Rukia was left to wonder which of the two she should do herself. She decided to sip it; her throat felt very dry.

"Rukia, I would like to ask you some questions," Hisana said, her hands tightening around the cup. She seemed nervous. "But I want you to know that you have the freedom to not answer any of them, if you wish. I am... very curious about you."

"Alright," she agreed, replacing the cup on the table, and clutching her hands together back in her lap.

The other woman let out a long breath in a kind of heavy sigh; Kuchiki-sama turned his head to look at her, his hand traveling beneath the table to hold onto hers – or so Rukia assumed; she only saw his head and arm move. Hisana glanced up at him, smiling bravely. Rukia had no idea what kind of person this little woman thought she was, to be so scared of her – she was just another student at the academy, and a rather poor one at that; a street rat from Rukongai with half-bit talent, if she were to believe anything the children of the Seireitei had to say about her.

Hisana asked her about her childhood, if she remembered anything about anyone who may have protected her when she was very young, but Rukia could only remember an old woman who had several young children under her care, and her using her cane to protect them on more than one occasion. The children had eventually wandered out on their own, especially once the old woman died, and Rukia had never seen any of them again. She had joined up with a slum of a house filled with children of various ages, all of whom formed a kind of pack, and they would take turns going out and stealing water or food, whatever was needed. They were all souls, and as such they didn't feel hunger or thirst the way they would have had they been alive, but they still liked to eat and drink. And of course, the adults were hardly better than the children. But no, she didn't remember anyone other than the old woman, and she had been alone all of her life. At least, until she'd met Renji and his friends. They'd been like a family really, but all but herself and Renji had been claimed by disease or injury, and that's why they'd decided to come to the academy. It was the easiest and safest way out of Rukongai.

She stopped talking, realizing she had been rambling on about nothing in particular that was only partially related to her question, and apologized quickly with another bow. She hoped that it would not be seen as a black mark of any kind in this... very odd interview.

Hisana still had not touched her tea, staring into the clear liquid with a sad expression. Silence hung between them for several moments, thick and awkward. Rukia wanted to continue on, or say something, but there was nothing more to be said, really. So she had to wait.

Hisana seemed to come to herself, looking up from the tea with a smile. "The reason I ask, Rukia, is because I know how you came to Inuzuri. You may not believe me, and I am not asking or expecting you to do so." She took a deep breath, the smile becoming shaky. "The reason I know is because I am from Inuzuri. I was killed in the living world a hundred years ago, along with my infant sister, in an earthquake. Not long after arriving there, I found it too difficult to live while taking care of someone else as well as myself, and so I abandoned her in order to ensure my own survival. And my sister's name... is Rukia."


	2. Chapter 2

Here we go with chapter 2 . A HUGE thank-you to everyone who took the time to comment. You all totally made my days with those :3 To the person who commented on the fact that this was a nano – Yes, much of it is written :D However, I pounded out 35K in about 12 days, so not all of it is in a linear timeline. I will try to be fast about getting it all together :D

Thanks again to Haritori for the beta.

Disclaimer: Bleach and included characters are not mine, making no profit, etc.

* * *

Chapter 2 

It took a moment for the words to completely register in her mind, and when they did, her mouth dropped open and she leaned forward. "Rukia? You think... you think _I'm_ your sister?" Hisana nodded, her mouth closed tightly into the same smile, but the closer she looked, the more she saw that the other woman was shaking, and her skin was very pale. Her husband reached over more obviously now, placing a steadying arm around her shoulders, and softly murmured her name. She looked up at him, nodding, before turning back to Rukia.

"I know how hard it must be to be hearing this," Hisana continued a moment later, placing her hands back in her lap. "And I can't tell you how much guilt I have suffered every day since I turned my back and left my infant sister lying in an alleyway to suffer her fate on her own. I have looked for her every day for the last 6 years, wishing I could meet her again, if only to tell her how sorry I am. If I could take back the last hundred years..." She trailed off, squeezing her eyes closed and raising one hand to cover her mouth. "If I could take them back, I would. In a heartbeat. I only wish I had held on a little longer, given her a better chance." Her voice was strained now, and she hiccuped before falling into a small coughing fit. Kuchiki-sama pulled Hisana against him lightly, concern for her well-being written plainly across his face.

She cleared her throat as soon as she could, and pushed him away to sit upright. Her eyes, however, looked away from them both and focused on a spot on the floor near the door. "I cannot thank you enough, Rukia-san," she said, her voice so quiet that it was hard to hear, "for allowing me the opportunity to explain the whims of a foolish, selfish young girl." She turned her head back, still not meeting her eyes, and inclined her body deeply over the table. After a long moment, she straightened again, this time raising her eyes to meet Rukia's, somewhat shyly. "If you would allow me to ask one more favor of you, I would request that you take a few days to consider what I have told you today. It would be terribly unfair of me to expect an answer today, and I won't ask that of you."

Rukia was silent for a long moment, staring at the woman with a mixture of emotions so complex that she couldn't even begin to name them. She took a deep breath in to speak, hesitated on the words, and then blurted them out anyway, aware of how rude and uncouth they sounded as they left her lips. "What exactly do you want from me?" she asked in a rush, exhaling at the same time. Her head felt light.

Hisana smiled very faintly. "The chance to get to know you. Even if you decide that I am not the family you may have been looking for, or that you are certainly not the family I have been looking for, I would still like to get to know you."

Rukia watched her for a moment longer, and then dropped her gaze back down to the table, her eyes unfocusing, mind running in a hundred directions all at once and getting nowhere fast. "I... need a few days to think about it," she said, weakly. That was all she could promise. She couldn't even say at this point in time if she would even _have_ an answer to come back with.

"Of course," Hisana replied, sounding relieved.

The interview ended a few minutes later, with the noble couple escorting her to the front door, and waiting there while she put on her sandals. Once on, she turned to face them again, bending herself nearly in half for a deep bow, and thanked them for the tea. Hisana made an appropriate response, a maid opened the door to let her out, and she turned and walked out of the house.

The door slid shut behind her, and she kept her eyes focused forward as she walked. Once past the gates of the house and back into the streets of the Seireitei, and the surrealism of what had just transpired began to sink in, she could feel herself starting to fall apart at the edges. The position of the sun had barely moved; she had been inside for an hour, an hour and a half at the most, and life was continuing on out here as if nothing was wrong. Indeed, everything seemed perfectly normal on this side of the tall walls that surrounded the Kuchiki property. Her heart started to pound, and her knees felt wobbly; even her breath seemed to be fluttering unevenly in her chest. She stumbled over to a bench set outside of a soba noodle kiosk, clutching the edge of the smooth wood and bending forward, trying to collect herself.

She wished she could deny Hisana's resemblance to herself as any kind of familial relation, but deep in her heart, she knew it was true. She couldn't quite explain it, but she just somehow knew that the older woman was related to her by blood. It was different from the feeling she had when she thought about Renji being her family. She didn't even know where to start her train of thought on that particular view; what would she ever know about having a sister? All of the people she could have considered true family had all been boys.

First of all, could she accept the fact that she even had a sister? A real, live sister, who'd flat out told her than she had abandoned her as a baby? Tentatively, she could say yes. She could accept that fact. It made sense, in a bizarre kind of way.

That first step down, Rukia felt a hysterical laugh rising out of her gut, which escaped in a strangled breath of air that made her sound more like she was weeping hysterically. She wanted to get back to the academy and her dorm and the relative safety of her bed to further consider anything else. Staggering to her feet, she set off down the street again.

* * *

The door closed behind Rukia, and Hisana sank to the floor, her knees suddenly unable to support her any longer. Byakuya-sama was at her side instantly, his arms going around her body, protectively, but she didn't feel sick or faint. She just felt... relieved. Nevertheless, she leaned into his strong embrace, resting her head against his shoulder and closing her eyes.

"Are you alright?" he murmured, concerned.

"I'm fine," she replied, softly, and nodding for emphasis. She lifted a hand to clasp it in the fabric of his kimono; the feeling of the silk beneath her chilled fingers was reassuring.

She hadn't ever really thought about what she would do when she found Rukia. The meeting in her mind had always gone splendidly, with her confessing her greatest sin in a tearful voice, and Rukia had always forgiven her with a heart the size of the entire Soul Society, and they lived happily ever after, sharing everything as sisters should. Of course, she should have really expected that would not be how things would play out. How would she have reacted to a complete stranger telling her that they were her long-lost sister who'd abandoned her as a infant?

Rukia had taken it remarkably well. At the very least, she hadn't yelled or screamed, or any number of potentially unpleasant reactions. She had sat there, quiet, contemplative, and had even asked a few questions. Not too many, to be sure – she thought it was a precise amount of two, in fact – but she had at least appeared to make the effort to try and understand what was happening.

Truthfully, it had been hard for Hisana to make the decision to contact Rukia. She had been told of the girl's presence in the academy some weeks ago, and had been torn on what to do, despite her determination of the last 6 years to find her sister. She had never really considered what to do when she finally found her. _If_ she finally found her. And if it hadn't been for her husband encouraging her, she might not have been able to make the decision that she had. He was very supportive.

She came back to the present, in a way, aware of her husband's hand on her hair, and his strong presence surrounding her completely. Yes, if not for him, she wouldn't be here, in this house or in these clothes, and certainly not in this position, which she now believed she could not have done without him. She shifted, burrowing into him just a little farther.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked, softly. "Your condition –"

"Is fine," she finished, straightening and tilting her head back to look him in the eye. His own gaze was dark and unreadable as usual, but there was a softness lingering in the depths of his eyes that never failed to elate her. "I'm fine," she repeated, giving him a brilliant smile.

The look he gave her then said that he didn't believe her, but he said nothing, and pulled her back into his arms. She closed her eyes and melted back into his embrace, utterly content. Six years of marriage, and she was still so happy. Nothing like the kind of relationships she'd seen in Inuzuri.

The peaceful moment was not to last forever, as a messenger arrived with some urgent business for Byakuya-sama to attend to right away. He took it without letting go of her, and once the man had been dismissed, he tucked the missive into his sleeve to continue his gentle embrace for a few moments longer. He sighed gently and stroked one hand down her hair. He didn't even need to say anything; she knew how important his work was to him, and slowly loosened her grip on his clothing. He lifted her back to her feet, hugging her tightly before dropping a kiss on top of her head. Hands lingering briefly on hers, he let her go, and was gone.

Hisana requested another pot of tea from the maid, to be brought to her in her room. As the girl ran off, she slowly turned and shuffled her way down the hall with one hand on the delicate surfaces to steady her balance. She hoped fervently that Rukia would give her the answer she was hoping for.

* * *

Rukia lay on her bunk, staring at the one above her with eyes that did not see a thing. Not even when a hand waved in front of her eyes. Renji's face appeared in her vision, but she didn't see him. He made a face, and flicked her nose. That got her attention; she flipped over, a hand covering her face. "OW!" she yelled, rolling back and glaring at him. "What was that for??"

He made a face at her, rolling his eyes. "You were off in la-la land," he accused, plopping his butt down on a short stool he'd dragged over from behind the bunks. "I've been trying to get your attention for five minutes. And I _asked_ nicely too. So how did it go?"

She flopped into her back again, rubbing at the skin under her nose. "It was... interesting." To say the least.

He waited. "That's it? Interesting is all you have to say?"

She wished she had the energy to glare at him. "What are you doing in the girls dorms anyway?" she asked, changing the subject.

He shrugged. "It's before curfew still, and the dorm head said it was OK. How can tea with the Kuchikis be only described as 'interesting'? Shouldn't it be more like, 'fabulous', or 'amazing', or 'it was like dining with the queen'." He mimicked an outrageous accent, holding an imaginary cup in the fingertips of one hand with his pinky finger sticking out.

She gave him a blank look. "You've lost your mind," she stated, as if she didn't even know who he was.

He gave her a sour look. "Well I've never been invited to dine with a royal family. Excuse me for wanting to know what it's like."

She sighed, closing her eyes. "Interesting," she repeated.

Renji swore under his breath. "No one ever gave you points for being overly verbose, did they," he complained.

"Renji, what would you do if you met someone and they told you that they were your long lost sister. Or brother, in your case."

He raised one eyebrow. "What?"

"Humor me. Say you... walked into a tea shop in the third district, and the owner himself came out and introduced himself as your long-lost older brother, and he told you that he'd abandoned you as an infant so that he could run off and open his tea shop, or whatever. What would you do?"

Renji thought about it for a long moment, then shrugged. "I'd punch him. Why?"

She laughed with no humor to the sound. "Yeah, I thought you might." She turned back to face him again, looking past him at nothing in particular. "Well I went to tea, and... it was interesting. Nice house. Servants everywhere. Art, fancy things. Nothing like what we grew up with. And I'm introduced to the lord and lady of the house – do you know anything about the family?"

He shrugged. "I dunno how it's relevant, but sure." He rattled off the same list of things that she had heard about the current head of the house, ticking them off on his fingers and pausing when he reached the end. "Uh, why?"

She looked up at him, sitting up to better meet his gaze. "Did you know that he is married to a woman who is from the very same district we grew up in?"

His eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

She nodded, _quite_ serious.

He whistled softly. "How come we never heard about it? Something like that ought to be big news around there."

"I don't know why," she replied, taking a deep breath. "But when she told me that... well she didn't exactly tell me that specifically. She said... she said that she's my sister, and she abandoned me as a baby in an alleyway."

Renji's face resembled a kind of frog they used to chase on the riverbank, bug-eyed and slack-jawed. "What?" he said.

"You heard me." She didn't want to repeat herself. It was still almost too much to believe.

"Do you believe it?"

She gave another mirthless laugh. "I don't know. You should see her, Renji, she looks exactly like me." She leaned forward then, burying her face in her hands. "I don't know what to believe. I don't know if I _should_ believe her. Since we moved everything has been so... so..."

"Crazy," Renji finished for her, strangely subdued.

"Yeah... If you were me, what would you do?"

Renji grunted. "Well I'm not in the habit of punching girls, so that's not an option," he said gruffly, reaching up to scratch his head. "Ummm... Well, shit, I don't know. What are my choices?"

Rukia shook her head slowly. "I don't know. She... she asked me to come back in a few days so we could have tea again, but I don't know... How does one talk to their supposed family?"

He looked thoughtful, placing one hand under his chin. "Did you ever think of us as family?"

She frowned in thought. "What does... oh, well I suppose I did... All we had was each other, right?"

He grinned. "There you go. Talk to her like you would talk to us. But don't go kickin' her or anything, that's not nice to people you've just met."

Rukia stared at him for a moment, before bursting out into hysterical giggles. Renji rolled his eyes, slouching in order to rest his elbows on his knees, and just studied her. Her hysterics were just that, and they were over quickly, leaving her still laughing with no purpose, and they were both surprised to find that she had tears in her eyes. The laughter quickly faded away into sadness, and she curled up on herself, shoulders shaking as she quietly dissolved into a different kind of hysterics. Renji shifted uncomfortably, unsure of what to do, if anything. Rukia had always been kind of the glue that kept their group together, and she'd never ever broken down like this. He hadn't thought she even knew how to cry.

"Rukia..."

Whatever he might have said was drowned out by the bell that signified the start of the curfew hour, and he had to leave the girls dorm. Some of the girls even started filing in, their conversations coming to a complete halt when they saw him, starting up again with hushed whispers. Tch. Women. He got to his feet, reaching down to clasp his hand about her shoulder for the second time that day. "Rukia, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?" He didn't wait for her to acknowledge him, patting her head with a heavy hand. "I'll see you tomorrow..."

* * *

Rukia found herself at the Kuchiki house a few days later, staring at the closed door in a kind of stupor. Should she knock? Should she turn around and leave? She wasn't sure what had brought her here, in the middle of the week, when she should have been studying for her next days lessons, but no, she was here. Staring at a closed door.

She shook her head. "This is stupid," she muttered to herself. She gathered up her strength – to either leave or knock, she wasn't even sure, when a voice behind her asked,

"What are you doing?"

She felt like she jumped ten feet straight up, leaving her skin standing at the door. She whipped around, a hand clutching at her chest. She had never been so jumpy when she lived in Inuzuri.

Kuchiki Byakuya was standing behind her, his face an impassive mask with only the barest hint of curiosity.

"I – I – I –" she stammered, mind blank. She really didn't know what she had been about to do.

"Ah, I believe Hisana might have been expecting you," he continued on, as if she hadn't said anything at all. "Come in; I will tell her that you've arrived." He brushed past her to enter the house, leaving the door open for her to follow.

Rukia felt her heart beat a little more frantically in her chest. Ah, she must have been about to turn around and leave, then. But now she couldn't, not without looking like a fool. So her feet carried her inside the house, once again. She closed the door behind her as no one seemed to be present to do it for her, and she slipped out of her zori and into the soft slippers waiting for her.

Kuchiki-sama was waiting as well, just in the hall. He gave her a pointed look – or so it seemed; she couldn't bring herself to look at him any higher than the white sash tied about his waist, and it felt like his gaze was piercing the top of her head – and led her down a different hallway, pausing at an open room. "Wait here." He didn't wait to see if she would go in before continuing on his way, turning a corner and disappearing.

If she hadn't been so nervous, she might have thought he was being rude, but then again, he was in his own home, and the head of the family, and she was a guest intruding upon that home and family. Oh, it was so complicated. She stepped into the room, this one open to a veranda and a small garden beyond, the greenery in various stages of bloom. Summer was a lovely time of year, she thought, gingerly kneeling on one of the pads lined up at the tatami's edge at the veranda.

She was not left to wait long when Hisana came into the room from behind her, kneeling on the pad next to her. A quick glance proved that the two women were alone, something Rukia found herself oddly grateful for. Hisana glanced over at her, a gentle smile on her lips. "I'm glad you came," she said, simply. Rukia could only nod; all her courage and bluster was simply gone, leaving her with awkward words she couldn't bear to let out.

They sat in silence for some time, but it was oddly comfortable. Hisana broke the silence again, turning her body this time to face Rukia. "I know this must be awkward for you," she said quietly. Rukia wondered if she realized that she was repeating herself from their first meeting. "I've asked myself a hundred times, what would I say or do if someone I'd just met told me that I was their long-lost sister. And I haven't got any good answers. The truth is, I don't expect anything from you, Rukia. I am, after all, a stranger to you. I have my own demons to confront over the circumstances of our meeting this time, and I cannot bring myself to ask for your forgiveness or understanding of my reasons for abandoning you. But I would be very honored if you would consent to allowing me the chance to get to know you, regardless of our relationship. I feel it is the least I can do." She laughed to herself very, very softly. "I might have liked to, anyway. It's not often that promising students show up from Inuzuri."

Rukia gave her an odd look. "How..?"

"How would I know that?" Hisana's smile did not change in size, but it definitely became a little more conspiratorial. "My husband is kept well-informed of many things," she whispered, as if it was a big secret.

Well, maybe it was. Rukia couldn't claim to know anything about beauracracys.

Hisana giggled softly, covering her mouth with her hand. "Forgive my manners; would you care for some tea?"

"No, thank you," Rukia replied, "I actually should be studying for my classes, but I found myself coming here instead..." She trailed off, becoming aware of the tension in the air between the two of them. "And honestly, I didn't know if I was going to get up enough courage to come in, or walk away without doing anything."

Hisana nodded but said nothing; she did not, however, look surprised. Her husband must have told her about Rukia hovering at the door.

"And... I think... I would like to get to know you," she finished in a rush, hunching over in a poor imitation of a bow.

The tension broke, and Hisana seemed to melt into a far more relaxed position. "Oh, I am so happy to hear you say that," she said, her voice shaking with relief. "Rukia, I cannot thank you enough for giving me the chance to make up for my past." She reached out to cover the younger girl's hand with her own, lightly.

It was still very awkward for Rukia, and she resisted the urge to snatch her hand away. This woman was, still, a stranger. She didn't know what to say, and so she said nothing, staring out at the garden beyond.

Hisana reclaimed her hand after only a couple of heartbeats, shifting a bit on her knees. "Would you be able to join us for dinner this weekend?" she asked. "I don't want to keep you from your studies; Byakuya-sama would surely chastise me!"

Rukia hesitated a moment, before agreeing. There was really nothing happening on weekends around the academy besides study sessions and the occasional social outing that she was never invited to. She had no friends among the other girls; she was too bossy, and "crude" as one of her year-mates had put it. And that was some of the nicer adjectives.

Hisana escorted her to the door, her fingers catching on the sleeve of Rukia's uniform very lightly, and she smiled so sweetly at her that she was halfway back to the academy before realizing that she had actually smiled in return. Perhaps it was going to be a fun evening after all.


	3. Chapter 3

Here we go again :3 Please enjoy, and thanks to Haritori again for betaing. 

**Disclaimer:** I own lots of things, but Bleach isn't one of them.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Rukia arrived for dinner dressed in her best and only kimono, which she feared was far too plain for dinner with a noble family (in fact, she was almost certain of it), and hoped that the weather, which was overcast and humid, would hold long enough for her to arrive. It could rain after the meal all it liked, but it simply would not do to have her arrive looking like – well, like the Inuzuri street rat that she was, only wetter. She hadn't told Renji of her plans for the evening so that he wouldn't feel obligated to escort her there or wait around to escort her back, or something ridiculously chivalrous like that. It didn't really suit him.

She was only slightly less nervous than she had been the first time she came here, approaching the door with a calmness that only showed on the outside. This time, someone was expecting her, and let her into the house before she even had a chance to knock. She once again traded her sandals for the house slippers and was led through the house, this time down a different hallway to reach the small dining room. Byakuya-sama and Hisana-san were already seated, patiently waiting for her arrival. Hisana-san's head twisted around as the maid opened the door for Rukia, smiling at the younger girl as she shuffled around the table to take the place set out for her.

Rukia had never held out any illusions that she would be prepared for dining with a noble family. Eating with the other students at the academy had changed her habits from her life in Inuzuri, but this was an entirely different matter all on its own. She was sure that there were eyes everywhere watching her, although she saw no one but the two she was eating with, and the servants. As it was, she felt horribly uncoordinated and uncouth: unfit to even sit at the table, let alone touch anything laid upon it. Renji had once called her elegant as she sat on a tree branch above him, eating her lunch, but she rather thought that the blow to the head he'd suffered that morning had impaired his judgment.

The sun had long since set by the time she was ready to go back to the dorms, and it had begun raining in earnest. Byakuya-sama had one of his staff escort her, along with a note excusing her tardiness to the dorm master. The walk was spent in silence, the rain making a steady drone on the surface of her umbrella, and she hurried her steps as much as she could in the kimono without being improper. She longed to hike it up past her knees, carry the sandals in one hand and the folded up umbrella in the other and just run through the streets barefoot, puddles, rain and all.

The dorms were dark when she arrived, where she handed her note to the dorm master silently. The man's eyes widened slightly as he finished reading, and waved her in gruffly. She turned to thank her escort, but he was already gone; she could just make out the back of his kimono disappearing beyond the gate. Perhaps it wouldn't have been appropriate anyway.

The girls dorms were also without lights, as it was well past curfew, and she tried to creep into the room as silently as she could. There were no other sounds, but she was sure that some of the other girls were awake; she could feel eyes watching her, and she could have sworn she heard a whisper of sound too. But with no proof, she just quickly changed out of her kimono and into her nighttime wear, slipping into her bed, where she lay awake for several more hours, running over the last few days in her head.

A _very_ strange interview, indeed.

* * *

Only two months into the slowly-established routine of visits for afternoon tea and the occasional dinner, it was wildly disrupted for the day. Rukia arrived wearing a light kimono, and was shown the usual pair of house slippers and led inside, but instead of the tea room, or Hisana-san's personal rooms, she was taken to another room she had never been to before. Inside, Kuchiki-sama sat on a mat apart from the crowd of people filling the room. Lots of people, maybe only a dozen, but each of them was dressed so impeccably that it was impossible to mistake them for anything but nobles. More family, perhaps? Rukia hesitated on the threshold of the door for a moment, before she spotted Hisana-san sitting in the corner, not too far from the door. Her entrance had not gone unnoticed by anyone; several heads had turned towards her, most with accusing eyes. She dropped into a low bow in Kuchiki-sama's direction, holding there for several seconds before straightening, keeping her head down and eyes lowered, shuffling back to join Hisana-san.

A ripple of murmurs ran through the room as she seated herself, tucking the yukata's hem beneath her shins as she did so, quickly shushed as someone moved to the front of the room to begin a long speech that Rukia paid absolutely no attention to. "What's going on?" she whispered to Hisana-san instead, keeping her voice to the barest minimum.

Hisana-san turned her head slightly to reply, also keeping her voice to a slight whisper of sound. Her eyes were sparkling. "Wonderful news. Byakuya-sama was promoted to captain of the Sixth division of the guard companies." She sounded incredibly proud, turning back to keep her gaze on him.

Rukia also fixed her gaze on him, a part of her mind wondering why Hisana-san was sitting way back here, but then she idly supposed that if everyone else in the room was nobility, and family, then they probably didn't even want her in the same room. She had mentioned that their marriage had been vastly opposed, but they had done it anyway. He was just kneeling there, taking in the people before him with the same expression she had seen him wear nearly every time she saw him – vacant. His face and especially his eyes betrayed nothing. It was either a true representation of him, or a very good mask. She very much doubted the first, throwing it out almost as soon as she thought of it. One did not become a captain of the guard companies by being a simpleton, never mind the rumors and high-opinion everyone spread about him. It was silly to have forgotten the rumors, or entertained the notion at all.

It seemed that he noticed Hisana-san's attention, however, as his eyes flicked over in their direction, and for a moment, became alive. Rukia hurriedly lowered her gaze down to the gold pieces that lay against the black shihakushou between the edges of the formal white haori, so as not to be seen as rude, but she rather wished he wouldn't look this way. Even when his gaze was supposedly vacant, it managed to pierce her right through. And he probably wasn't even looking at her directly. It was so unnerving.

"We can go," Hisana-san murmured a moment later, rising gracefully to her feet. Rukia hurried to follow suit, slightly less graceful than the older woman, and they bowed before Hisana-san led the way out of the room through a door at the back of the room. She then led them to the garden they usually walked in, where they traded the house slippers for outside-shoes again, and strolled along the path. Hisana-san chattered on excitedly about her husband's promotion as they walked, her hands clasped tightly together before her. Rukia only half-listened. Of course she was interested, as it was important to Hisana-san, but overall, not a subject she could even actively participate in.

After a few minutes, Hisana-san seemed to realize that she was talking to an unresponsive audience, and stopped talking, the words cutting off suddenly. "Forgive me, Rukia-san," she said, pausing in her steps to give a small bow of apology. "I didn't mean to bore you."

"I wasn't bored," Rukia hastened to assure her. She hadn't been _bored_, precisely...

Hisana-san laughed softly, reaching out to catch one of Rukia's sleeves in her fingers briefly. "You are too kind, Rukia-san, but I very much doubt that anyone cares for my husband like I do. Come, let us speak of other things for now."

Her tone made it clear that she was teasing, but Rukia still felt her cheeks color. She could not deny that at all, but Hisana-san seemed to take it all in stride, letting her sleeve go as they continued their walk. As promised, she did not bring up the topic of her husband's promotion again.

They were having tea beneath the shade of a large cherry tree a little while later when he suddenly appeared next to them, approaching from a few steps away. Rukia had just taken a sip of tea, and she struggled not to spit it out in surprise. Hisana-san's face lit up, however, and she beamed a smile up at him even as she sat up a little straighter and seemed to entirely forget Rukia's presence as her gaze locked upon him. He said nothing as he gracefully knelt on the blanket next to Hisana-san, and simply reached out to take her hand in his, holding it lightly.

"Forgive my intrusion," he said quietly, after emitting a deep sigh and closing his eyes briefly, looking at neither woman in particular when he opened them again.

"Not at all," Hisana-san replied, still looking up at him. If she could smile any wider, her face might have cracked open. "Rukia-san was just telling me about how her classes were going, weren't you, Rukia-san?" she said, turning her head in order to give the younger girl a brilliant smile.

Rukia stumbled over the words, because the topic hadn't even come up yet, but she answered in the affirmative. She said something about her classes that she couldn't quite remember upon reflecting on those few minutes of the day. She couldn't tell if he was even pretending to be interested, when in all likelihood he probably wasn't, because she just could not bring herself to look any higher than those thin gold bars resting against his chest.

She finished the short monologue, and the shade beneath the cherry tree fell into a somewhat awkward silence. A gentle breeze rustled through the branches above their heads, the leaves seeming to laugh as they fluttered on their stems. Kuchiki-sama stirred a moment later, sighing deeply again.

"I must return. Thank you for your time." He squeezed his wife's hand briefly before rising to his feet in one smooth motion and returning the way he'd come.

Hisana-san was giddy with excitement over the day's news, more so with the sudden and brief appearance of her husband, though she did try hard to curb her enthusiasm. Rukia didn't try to stop her this time, and let her talk about anything she wanted. It was, after all, some insight to a woman she barely knew.

Rukia later heard that Kuchiki-sama had only been a lieutenant for less than 50 years before achieving the rank of captain, so she supposed the excitement had been well-deserved.

* * *

Over the next couple of years, Rukia found herself balancing her schoolwork, which increased in demand as each year progressed, and her growing friendship with Hisana. She went to the Kuchiki house at least once a week, starting out slowly and increasing her visits as their bond grew, spending anywhere from the length of time it took to drink a pot of tea to several hours, talking about anything that came to mind. Sometimes they sat, sometimes they walked around the property's gardens; sometimes they even sat with her husband present, though those times were more awkward, and thankfully infrequent.

She was spending less time with Renji, and when she did, he was grouchy and sarcastic, more so than usual. It didn't make her want to seek out his company, so she usually didn't, and that only made him inexplicably worse, whenever he caught up with her. Really, she ought to just punch him one.

In the spring of her fourth year, before classes had begun, Hisana proposed that Rukia join the family. The younger girl was over often enough that the servants would set out places at the table or for tea for her, even when Hisana knew that she was away on a training mission and wouldn't return for another three days.

Rukia had hesitated on the arrangement. Leaving the academy dorms to be adopted by the illustrious Kuchikis would only serve to ostracize her further from the other girls, not to mention further drive the wedge between herself and Renji. She could already hear the myriad voices now – the girls not so subtly accusing her of some kind of trickery, Renji sneering about being abandoned.

In the end, it was Renji who decided for her. They'd been getting along reasonably well when she decided to ask his opinion. She had been looking down nervously at her feet, and so missed his initial reaction, but he loudly declared that it must be wonderful to have the family she'd been looking for her whole life, and clapped one large hand on her shoulder, nearly knocking her over in the process. He was laughing, going on about how envious he was, but it all sounded forced.

She'd been somewhat disappointed by the encouraging words, though she wasn't sure why, and plucked his hand off of her shoulder in order to go prepare her reply. She mumbled some parting phrase as she passed him, hurrying from the room as fast she could. If he'd wanted her to stay, she would have stayed. She felt tears burn in her eyes and her hands shook as she carefully wrote out the words on parchment, sending it to the Kuchiki house that same night.

Within the week, she was moved into the huge mansion. She toured the house twice and got lost once. She had her own room, with enough space that she didn't have to fold up her futon every morning. Her room had doors on the outside wall that opened into a small garden that was separated from the main gardens by some decorative hedges, and she enjoyed being able to open them every morning to see the blooming sakura. Her room was also down the hall from the one that Hisana and Byakuya-sama shared, which was both convenient and somewhat awkward, depending. She'd nearly interrupted a very private moment between them once, which had sent her running back down the hall and left her too embarrassed to look either one in the face for three whole days. Hisana brought her a large selection of both yukata and kimono to wear when she wasn't at school; Rukia suspected that they were hers, as they were nearly the exact same height and weight, but the generosity was far too appreciated to comment on it. She was given all manner of other clothing items to wear as well, which was also appreciated as all she had was what she had come to the academy with: the kimono, and one newer yukata that she had purchased the summer previous.

Many of the extended family also lived in the house, and none of them seemed all that happy to see her. Most refused to even acknowledge her presence. But that didn't really matter to her; she'd expected that.

What mattered was, Hisana seemed more vibrant than Rukia had yet seen her. Her sister seemed to become more alive when Rukia walked into the room for breakfast, or joined her for tea after school. They usually spent every free moment from sunrise to the evening meal together. After eating, Rukia would focus on any homework she had, or simply study. On the rare occasions that she didn't have any homework and Byakuya-sama was also home, she usually had to find something else to entertain herself with. Rarely would the three of them sit together and engage in casual conversation. Rukia thought it was just as well. She found her sister's husband to be intimidating. He never smiled, and she rather thought that he looked upon her with only slightly less distaste than the rest of the family, tolerating her presence only out of devotion to Hisana.

And he _was_ devoted to Hisana; of that there was absolutely no doubt. One particularly cold day in the winter, Hisana had tried to go about her morning routine as usual, but when she got up from breakfast (which she had only picked at and not really eaten), she stumbled and collapsed to the floor, unconscious. Byakuya-sama was at her side in an instant, the dishes rattling on the table as he bumped against it in his haste to reach her, shouting for someone to fetch Unohana-san right away. He picked Hisana up with a tenderness Rukia had never seen anyone display, cradling her against his chest and brushing her hair back from her face. His expression was full of concern and worry, calling her name urgently, his voice low. Rukia was completely forgotten even before Hisana came to, when Byakuya-sama lifted her in his arms and carried her away. Confused and worried, but sensing that her continued presence would not be welcome (not to mention that she hadn't even known that Hisana was ill, let alone was she able to offer any help), Rukia went to her classes and tried to have a normal day. But the image of her sister lying crumpled on the floor stuck with her and distracted her from her work. She could hardly concentrate on anything all day, and as soon as she could, she ran back to the house to, hopefully, at least soothe her concerns.

Hisana had left word at the door with a servant for Rukia to come see her as soon as she returned home. She didn't even bother to change out of her uniform, barely taking the time to put on house slippers before hurrying down the halls to her sister's room. The older woman was lying in bed, Byakuya-sama kneeling on a pillow next to her. She smiled to see Rukia, lifting a hand from beneath the quilts and holding it out. Rukia rushed across the expanse of tatami to drop to her knees, clasping Hisana's cool hand between her own.

"You must be so worried," Hisana said softly, still smiling sadly. "I'm so sorry, Rukia. I should have told you sooner."

Rukia could only shake her head to indicate her confusion; her voice seemed to be stuck in her throat.

Hisana hesitated for a moment longer, her brow furrowing lightly. "I wish I knew what to tell you," she began, her eyes flicking over to glance at Byakuya-sama. "They don't know what's wrong with me. These collapses were a factor in my decision to abandon you; I've had them ever since I came to Soul Society. We don't know what causes them, or why they go away for months at a time and then suddenly come back, like they did this morning." She curled her fingers around Rukia's hand, squeezing gently. "I don't want you to worry too much about me. Unohana-sensei thinks they could be triggered by diet or climate, and that I might have them for my whole life. As long as they don't cause too much undue stress or hurt me, I should be absolutely fine." She smiled bravely, the look at odds with the underlying concern in her eyes. Rukia chose to ignore the concern, convincing herself that her sister was going to be fine. She bent over awkwardly, giving Hisana a lopsided hug. It was the first time Rukia willingly touched anyone in an affectionate manner, and she couldn't say why she had done it. It seemed to be the right thing to do.

It was kind of funny, she thought to herself later as she bathed, that just less than three years had passed since she'd first received that curious note from a messenger, and met Hisana, and she felt like she had known the other woman for her entire life. Even if she hadn't already accepted the idea that they were related, she surely would have now. How quickly she'd become attached to her. Hisana was a vital focus in her life.

Winter passed with no more collapses. They celebrated her birthday in mid-January, a quiet affair with just the three of them, eating delicious pastries and she was given a few small gifts. Byakuya-sama's birthday was a couple weeks later, and was a much bigger event. Being the head of the family looked like a tedious job to her, watching from the distant background as the extended family arrived to pay their respects. The extended family was even less fond of her than the immediate family was, and it suited her just fine to stay out of their way and interact with them as little as possible. Being in the background gave her an excellent opportunity to observe, and she wondered if any of them ever noticed how uncomfortable he seemed around them. She rather thought that he didn't like all of the attention, even though he showed everyone his normal facade. And it wasn't like she spent a lot of time around him, despite living in the house just down the hall, or being his sister-in-law, but the signals seemed as clear as day to her.

Hisana giggled quietly when Rukia tentatively asked her about it, covering her mouth with her hand. "You're very observant," she said approvingly. "He's not terribly good around people he doesn't see very often, and is ironically better with complete strangers." She had a tender, fond smile on her lips as she returned to combing out Rukia's hair. "And he's utterly adorable around people he does like."

At Rukia's confused look, she merely kept on smiling, a light blush stealing over her cheeks. "Our courtship was one of the happiest times in my life," she added. She didn't elaborate any further, but she spent the rest of the day with the same fond smile on her lips.

Rukia concluded that Byakuya-sama must not like her, then, because he never did anything that she would have termed "adorable" around her.

But no matter. She had not joined the family for him, but for Hisana, and Hisana enjoyed having her there. If he didn't like her, at least he didn't appear to actively _dis_like her either. The first time she ran into him at the house without Hisana present, he'd asked her about her classes at the academy and her progress in her classes. She had been under the impression that he already knew all that, and so she had stammered out some reply that she could not remember a minute later. His gaze was entirely unreadable, as usual, so she hurriedly excused herself and backed out of the room as fast as she could without seeming rude. She couldn't remember what she had wanted to talk to Hisana about.

Her sister had found the episode amusing, actually laughing instead of her usual soft giggle when Rukia miserably admitted to running away. "It's been almost a year since you moved in, Rukia," she said with the laugh loud in her voice, "and three since we met. You two really should get to know each other."

Rukia sighed and looked down at her hands, clasped together in her lap. She did want to; she wanted to try and get to know the people important to Hisana-san. It was just so _hard_ when they looked so... disdainful all the time. Nevertheless, she heard herself promising to at least try.

* * *

What Rukia didn't know was that her adoption into the family was almost singularly on behalf of Byakuya's efforts. Hisana had asked idly about the possibility as they had eaten breakfast one morning, and while he merely watched her in a form of surprise, she concluded for herself that the rest of the family wouldn't agree. She had sighed wistfully and seemed to put it out of her mind. He hated to hear her sigh like that. He didn't say anything then, but he thought that the fact that she hadn't cried herself to sleep ever since Rukia had agreed to get to know Hisana – going on two years, at the time – was worth the effort of trying to convince the rest of the family. It had taken nearly a month, and he'd stubbornly refused to back down before they agreed, though they did so with a very firm and somewhat sarcastic reminder that this was the second time their name was being dragged through the mud. One toe out of line, and she would be out on her ear.

He really didn't think there was anything to worry about. She seemed to have a good head on her shoulders.

Hisana had been overjoyed when he gave her permission to have Rukia live at the house with them, allowing her to arrange any of the details that she liked. The girl had hesitated for a few days before sending word that she would accept, and for the first time, his beautiful wife wept with joy.

Having Rukia in the house was no real hardship, after all. She gave Hisana someone other than himself to talk to, and she was home far more often than he was. She was quiet and unassuming, and kept her nose out of trouble, most of the time. He'd only had to reprimand her twice, and the feeling she radiated even before such minor lectures was enough to prevent repeat offenses.

He supposed he ought to make some sort of effort to get to know the girl, but he didn't know how. He was simply not good with people. He was still amazed to this day that Hisana had accepted his awkward and somewhat overbearing attentions and agreed to marry him. He was completely smitten with her, and had been from the moment he'd first laid eyes on her. She'd dropped an entire tray of tea for six people right at his feet. It had been weeks before she would look up at him enough so that he could determine the color of her eyes. He still had no idea what had drawn him to her in the first place, but nearly 10 years of marriage later, he was glad he had fought for the right to bring her into the family at his side. She suited him very well.

Byakuya frowned at the paper before him, as if it was the cause of his distraction. He _had_ been thinking about the problem of Rukia, and allowed himself to be easily side-tracked by thoughts of Hisana.

Well, no... It wasn't that Rukia was a problem. It was more that in two years, she would finish her training at the academy, and likely join the Gotei 13. Perhaps he was worrying overly much, but the chances of her being put in the path of danger would greatly increase once she did, even if she was an unseated officer in one of the least battle-forward divisions. And that would only mean that Hisana would worry more any time she went out even on simple missions, and he was concerned about what that would do to her.

An instant later, he chided himself for being foolish. She still had 2 years of training left, and the only missions anyone went on these days were against Hollows. She would be safe enough. He must stop concerning himself with things he could not affect.

Tonight, he would bring home flowers for Hisana. Someone in the marketplace had her favorite blossoms.

* * *

March saw the end of Rukia's fourth year in the academy, just a few weeks shy of her first anniversary of being adopted by the Kuchiki family. She wished she could have a greater sense of pride and accomplishment by what she had managed so far, but the emotions were a distant thought in her mind as she watched the graduation ceremony of most of the current sixth-years, and a few special other students – namely Renji, who had been in the advanced classes all along and was being sent on to the Guard Companies two years ahead of her. She tried very hard to stay out of his sight throughout the ceremony, as their friendship had remained rocky. She was happy for him; truly happy for him. They had both come here looking for a better life, and while her own was nothing to be ashamed of, she just somehow felt that he had gotten the longer end of the stick.

Once the seriousness of the actual graduation was over with, he laughed so freely with his fellow graduates and looked so happy that she only regretted not being able to be there at his side to share it with him. He wouldn't want to see her right now. Feeling saddened by that thought, she slipped out of the crowd and headed back home.

Home... Home was in that huge house now. With her sister. And her brother-in-law, and the rest of his ridiculous family. The life of a noble had no place for the rowdy members of the lower classes. Amazingly, she could feel hot tears burning in her eyes, and she had to stop behind a quiet shop to wait for the rush of emotion to pass. She was a noble now. It had taken this long for that fact to sink in.

In a way, she had traded one family for another, and she was just now beginning to wonder if she had made the right choice when she did so.


	4. Chapter 4

Another huge thanks to Haritori for betaing, but also a GIANT SHOUTOUT to everyone who has reviewed so far :3 I'm really lazy when it comes to replying to emails and things like that, so while I haven't replied to many reviews, I appreciate each and every one of them. Thank you so much :D

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Her own graduation was at the normal time of 6 years with the rest of her year-mates. Her marks in kidou and footwork saved an otherwise mediocre grade. The first she had some actual talent at – her marks there were nearly the highest in her entire class. The second she had an aptitude for, but it was probably helped by the fact that she and Hisana had been taking dance lessons for the last couple years. Come to think of it, Hisana had commented on her gracefulness as well, reminding her of something Renji had once said. Perhaps she did have some elegance.

Some students went on to the Royal Guard. (Rukia had heard through gossip that Renji had tried for their entrance exam, but had failed.) Some of the noble children went back to their families. Many, many more tried for the Gotei 13, Rukia among them. The exam was grueling; she left feeling like she had made a poor showing, and was completely exhausted.

A few days later, a letter arrived at the house, congratulating her on the completion of the exam, and contained the details of her passing grade. She was amazed at having passed at all, but her skill with kidou and footwork once again saved her. She would have to train some more; Byakuya-sama was sure to comment on the disappointingly low grades otherwise. Rukia sighed to herself; best not to delay the inevitable. Scroll in hand, she went off in search of her brother-in-law. He was home today, and would probably appreciate receiving the news immediately.

She should have guessed that he would be found with Hisana. It only made sense, really – he was not home at this time of day that often, and when he was, but not working, then nineteen times out of twenty he would be with his wife. Such was the case today; she found them sitting side-by-side next to the koi pond, their arms just touching. Hisana was so much smaller than he was, their height evening out a little though she still only reached his shoulders. Rukia hesitated at the end of the path, wondering if the news was worth the trouble of interrupting an obviously private moment between them, when Byakuya-sama twisted, sliding his arm around Hisana's back and using his other hand to lift her chin to place a lingering kiss on her lips.

Definitely not worth the trouble. Rukia turned around and headed back to the house. They were both far too proper to allow such an open display of affection, even on the family property. She was fairly certain that her brother-in-law had known she was there, but she wasn't entirely sure that he wouldn't have done the action in front of anyone else anyway. It was certainly an effective way to ensure their privacy. She would just leave the scroll on his desk and maybe catch him later.

After placing it neatly in the center of his impeccably tidy desk, she returned to her room and stood in the middle of the open floor space, staring at the closed sliding doors that led to the outside gardens. Her eyes slid away from the papered frames to the items within her room – the unfolded futon, neatly made up for her use later in the day. The chests that held her clothing. A small decorative table that held a small _bonsai_, which was up-kept by one of the gardeners. She sighed to herself; it all seemed so meaningless.

Her eyes fell on the small stand placed against one of the inner walls, the slightly curved scabbard of her _zanpakutou_ resting serenely between the cradles. The sword brought a smile to her lips, and she found her feet crossing the distance to kneel before the stand and lay her hand lightly on the cool surface. It hadn't been all that long since the soul inside the blade had made itself known to her, and the memory was still fresh in her mind.

_She was a cold woman, surrounded by ice and snow, dressed and painted in the starkest white. The only spots of color were the black of her hair, the red circles upon her cheeks and her red lips; her long sleeves were lined in red, the _obi-jime_ and _obi-age _were red, and what appeared to be blood stained the pristine kimono from the center of her heart all the way to the hem. Her gaze was so cold and unfeeling, as frozen as the landscape around her, and Rukia had been awed by her very presence. The woman had looked down at her as if she were less than worthy of that honor. Rukia had been momentarily cowed, but then the last 5 or 6 years of being looked down upon had given her a strength she had been suppressing for far too long. She would not be intimidated._

_The woman had given a barely perceptible smile, and vanished. In her place was an upright_ katana_, the blade and hilt as purely white as the woman's robes and the snow around them now. Attached to the end of the hilt was a long white ribbon that fluttered and twisted in a non-existent wind. She reached out to grasp the hilt, and as her fingers closed around the wrapped handle, she felt an incredible rush, and a sense of completion. There was a distinct voice echoing in the back of her head – _"You are worthy."

The memory was an oddly happy one. She could feel the sword's presence at the back of her head where she'd heard it that first time, though there were never any words, and rarely anything more than the sensation of sharing that much of herself with someone else. The teacher's words came back to her – spending time connecting with the soul inside the sword, which was really just an extension of their own spiritual energies, would deepen the bond and increase their chances of reaching _shikai_, and forcing the soul to materialize at will. The truly exceptional students may even reach _bankai_. Rukia didn't hold any delusions about reaching that stage, however; if her marks were any indication, even _shikai_ would be an accomplishment.

She shook the negative thoughts off with a deep breath, grasping the scabbard in her hand to pull the sword off of the stand. She would go and practice right now. Maybe her marks would be taken in a better light if Byakuya-sama were to find her still practicing despite having passed.

* * *

A maid was waiting for her when she left the dojo a few hours later. Byakuya-sama wanted to see her. She was tired and hungry and in need of a bath, but she had to go... A little nervous, she dismissed the maid and made her way to his office, sheathed sword in hand.

He gave her permission to open the door as she was settling herself on her knees before the closed wood-and-paper frame, sword placed before her. She swallowed heavily and pushed the frame aside, placing her fingertips together on the tatami by her knees and bowing over them. She could feel his cool grey eyes sweeping over her as she announced herself, seeming to take in everything in just one glance.

"Congratulations on your success," he said, in an absent tone of voice, and she heard the rustle of paper. "I am glad to see that you aren't neglecting your training. You may go."

Rukia blinked, confused, and dropped into another bow. "Thank you, nii-sama." She reached out to pull the door shut again before getting to her feet. He'd been nicer to her in the past; what had she done wrong to cause him to be so curt? Was it because she'd entered the gardens earlier, wanting to share her news? She made a face as she headed for the kitchen. On the one hand, he'd congratulated her and expressed a kind of pleasure in her work ethic, but on the other, that condescending dismissal! Oh, how she wished she could just pop him one!

She felt better after eating some plain rice, even though dinner would be in about an hour, judging from the position of the sun, and headed back to her room to place her sword back on its stand and retrieve a change of clothes before heading to the bathhouse. It really wouldn't do to turn up at the table smelling like something left to lie in the hot sun for four days, after all. When she got there, there was a kimono neatly folded on the shelf; it looked rather like Hisana's, but she wasn't sure. If it was anyone else in the bath, she didn't feel like sharing, even though it was an odd time of day to be taking one anyway. Rukia rapped on the door lightly, turning her head to listen. "Nee-san?"

Soft footsteps approached the inner door, which slid open far enough for Hisana's face to appear. She looked surprised. "Rukia... Ah, I'm almost done, if you wanted to wait or...?"

"Can I come in?"

Her sister smiled. "Of course." She disappeared from the small opening, which remained open as Rukia undressed, folding her clothing neatly and placing it on the shelf next to Hisana's. After retrieving one of the washcloths kept in the bathhouse and feeling a little self-conscious, she pushed the door the rest of the way open and stepped inside the bathing area.

The older woman had her back to the door, perched on one of the stools as she washed her legs. Rukia slid the inner door closed behind her, free arm held across her chest, and crossed the wooden floor on silent feet to take a seat on another stool. She prepared her bathing in silence, lost in thought.

Hisana broke her concentration, scooping water over herself to rinse off. "I hear you passed the entrance exam," she said, smiling. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Rukia replied, somewhat absently.

Her sister started talking about something else, but Rukia was not paying attention at all. After a moment, she turned to face Hisana and blurted, "Nee-san, why did you marry into the family?" At the older woman's shocked look, Rukia made a face and clapped a hand over her mouth. It sounded so horrible when said aloud; she hadn't quite meant to say it at all, let alone phrase it like that.

Hisana blinked a few times, clearly at a loss for words. "Why?" she repeated a moment later, thankfully not angry at all. "I suppose... because I fell in love." Rukia just stared at her, keeping her hand over her mouth lest she say anything worse. A moment later, Hisana's cheeks coloured and she lowered her head. "I don't know if you can quite appreciate my feelings for Byakuya-sama," she continued in a soft voice. "He has shown me nothing but kindness and given me so much, I wouldn't know where to begin to thank him, assuming he would even accept it." She lifted her head only to look away, blinking furiously in the dim lighting. "I hardly deserve his love, any more than I deserve your forgiveness."

Silence fell between them again; Hisana's clearly from an emotional outburst, and Rukia's in uncertainty. She lowered her hand to her lap and looked at the towel clutched tightly in her other hand. She wished that that particular topic would quit coming up. She counted herself fortunate to have survived Inuzuri and could not find the will to dislike someone for an event she couldn't even remember.

Hisana collected herself quickly, clearing her throat and shaking herself slightly. "Some day, Rukia, you will find someone who stirs your heart so and you will understand." She offered Rukia a brave smile, though the wetness in her eyes and the faint trembling in her chin did not go unnoticed.

They finished their respective baths in silence before taking a brief soak in the tub. Rukia dwelled on Hisana's words; the only person she could think of was Renji, and the only thing he stirred in her heart was the desire to drive her fist deep into his stomach, or maybe his nose. They'd barely spoken since his graduation two years earlier, but she maintained that that was just as much his fault as hers; she just didn't want to talk to someone who's head resembled a fat tropical fruit and was obviously filled with the insides of that tropical fruit too.

She ended up leaving the bathhouse feeling no better than she had earlier.

* * *

The reason for the call to her brother-in-law's office became apparent as she joined the family for dinner. Usually, she was able to take more private meals with just Hisana and Byakuya-sama, but tonight, a large collection of the family was going to be eating with them. She tried not to wrinkle her nose when she saw one of his aunts, a bitter old woman with a seemingly endless collection of thinly-veiled insults aimed at Hisana, and Rukia after she'd joined the family, and not enough sense to keep them to herself in public situations. Her sister was unfazed by the rude comments that many of the extended family directed at her, and she tried her best to emulate that calmness, but it was difficult, especially on days like today when her emotions had been on a wild ride.

The meal progressed in its usual excruciatingly slow manner, seeming to take more time than was customary. After the third pot-shot at Hisana from the aunt, Byakuya-sama casually turned the topic to Rukia's acceptance into the Gotei 13, focusing his gaze directly on her as he asked what division she'd considered entering. She nearly choked on the bit of fish she had put into her mouth just as he started talking, swallowing it whole without tasting it at all. She was pleased that her answer was steady and delivered in a firm voice, even though she hadn't thought about any division at all yet. He suggested the 13th, and then changed the conversation again. She knew in her heart that the 13th would be the one she went to, and that pretending to consider any other division would be just that – pretending.

The very next day, she put in her request, and three days later, she had her reply. One week after taking the entrance exam, she stood in the 13th divisions offices, in a room that was completely unfurnished. Some of the lower seated officers fawned a bit over having a member of a noble family there. It made her uncomfortable, as she was a noble in name only. She was sure her background was as plain as some of theirs, and asked them to just treat her normally, like any other new recruit – which was just what she was.

"Of course!" the most senior of them enthused, backing out of the room with a series of small bows. "Please wait here, Kuchiki-san, the captain will be right with you." The door slid closed in front of the man's ridiculously smiling face, leaving her alone.

She sighed to herself. Being a Kuchiki could be so troublesome. She longed to be just "Rukia" again.

She could hear them whispering on the other side of the door, conscious of the conversation when she heard her name. Not all of the words, but enough to know that they were definitely talking about her. Something about noble families and pets. Her face scrunched into a kind of scowl; did they not know that she'd made it in on her own merit?

Just as she was considering if it was worth creating waves on her very first day and opening the door to give them a piece of her mind, a deep, rough voice did it for her, breaking through the hushed conversation with ease. "Get back to work, you lazy dogs!" the owner admonished. "Do I have to make you carry water again? Get out of here!" There was the sound of running feet, but she barely had time to register that as the door banged open, making her jump.

In the doorway was a tall man with a shock of dark hair that stood out every which way and a sour expression, dressed in the normal shihakushou and large badge tied about his left arm, which also sported a large tattoo. He lifted his right hand in a salute of some sort and loudly announced, "Vice-captain Shiba Kaien! Nice to meet you!"

Rukia blinked a few times, caught completely off-guard first by the conversation outside, and then... this. "Ah... hello," she stammered nervously. This maybe rated slightly less on the nerve-wracking scale than meeting a noble family with no inkling as to why they wanted to meet her in the first place.

His eyes narrowed and his expression soured a bit more, if it was possible. "'Ah, hello'?" he threw back at her, and stomped across the distance between them to place his hand firmly on her head. "What the hell is your problem?" he demanded as she squeaked wordlessly in surprise. "Is that any way to greet your vice-captain, who's just so courteously introduced himself? You're supposed to give your name and say 'nice to meet you'."

"Yes, sir," she agreed, trying to back away without actually moving. He was rather intimidating, being right in her face, despite being quite a bit taller than she was. She could feel her heart pound a little harder in her chest; she didn't think she'd ever met anyone quite like this, and she'd met a lot of strange, loud men in her life. The complete opposite of Byakuya-sama. All she could think of or concentrate on was the colour of his eyes, and the pronounced lower lashes framing them. She could have counted the individual hairs that made up his eyebrows, if she really wanted to, he was so close.

"Well? Your name?" His voice had a dangerous edge to it, as if he might make her carry water as he'd threatened the others with. Or worse.

"K-Kuchiki Rukia, sir" she managed to get out.

A brief pause.

"Ok. And?"

"Nice to meet you!"

He changed into a completely different person, letting her go and stepping back to give her a thumbs-up. "Good! That's the way, Rukia! Welcome to the Thirteenth division! Because our captain is frequently sick, I'm usually in charge! You can call me 'Captain Kaien' if you want!" He winked outrageously at her, matching perfectly with his wide grin.

"...I'll think about it," she mumbled, staring at him and trying to smooth her hair down with one hand as discreetly as possible. He was definitely one of the strangest people she'd ever met.

* * *

A month later, Rukia felt right at home in the 13th division. She looked forward to getting up each day and heading to the division offices. She was still a new recruit, so her days were spent mostly in training exercises. Once a week, small teams would go to the real world to keep their skills in _konsou_ sharp. Eager to prove herself, she over-worked herself one day and was sent home early with strict instructions to rest. Hisana had sat at her bedside all afternoon, even when she was sleeping. It made her feel horribly guilty, so she took care not to let it happen again.

But aside from that, she couldn't ever remember being happier than she was right now. Ukitake-taichou was a kind captain, apologizing to her for not being able to welcome her on her first day personally and making himself approachable by all, and his lieutenant was just as approachable. Kaien-dono had apologized (in a rough, round-about kind of way) on her second day if he'd scared or intimidated her too much the day before. He was just that kind of person – direct and honest. Instinctively, she knew she could trust him with her very life.

On this particular day, Rukia was taking a quiet break away from everyone else, sitting near the edge of a stream. She had her arms loosely wrapped around her raised knees, staring at the water's edge without actually seeing it. She wasn't thinking about anything in particular, letting her thoughts wander. It was a lovely day, really. She wondered if Hisana would take a walk in the gardens today. Her sister hadn't been feeling well the past few days, opting to stay in bed in the mornings, though she seemed her usual self when Rukia got home in the evenings.

Kaien-dono suddenly appeared in her vision, a scowl on his upside-down face and holding a pair of bamboo cups. "What's with the shitty expression?" he asked, sounding as if the look on her face personally offended him. Caught off-guard – she hadn't heard him approaching at all – she squeaked and jumped back, hitting her back against his legs. He made a face at her, the expression worse because he was upside-down. "Why do you always go 'ah' when you see me? I might get offended one of these days." It was true, she did say that a lot around him – but if he didn't insist on just _appearing_ at her side and scaring her all the time, maybe she wouldn't squeak as much. He rolled his eyes slightly, placing one of the cups on her knees. "Here. This is for you. Drink up."

Rukia curled her hands around the cup as he was letting it go; she looked up to thank him, but he had already straightened. He only moved around her, and dropped to the grass next to her easily, sipping at his own cup and staring out at the stream.

The silence was only slightly uncomfortable as she pulled the stopper out of the top of her cup, placing the spout between her lips and sipping at the liquid inside. It was cool water flavored slightly with the tang of a citrus fruit. Delicious, and it eased the thirst she hadn't been entirely aware of.

"Hey," Kaien-dono said a moment later, quiet and serious – something she hadn't yet heard him be. "I know you probably won't tell me if I ask why you look so troubled, but I just want you to know, that as long as you're in my division, I'll stand behind you, no matter what."

Rukia turned her head to study him in a kind of surprise. He sounded so... earnest. It was a complete change from the kind of people she was used to being around right now. She was about to express her gratitude for the sentiment – and it was truly appreciated - but only got as far as the first syllable of his name before a pair of voices erupted behind her, totally drowning her out.

Kiyone-san and Sentarou-san seemed to appear out of nowhere, making a lot of noise and causing Kaien-dono to spit his drink out. They said some crazy things – among them, Sentarou-san told her to flick boogers at anyone who would use her Rukongai background to hold her back, and Kiyone-san accused Kaien-dono of saying things to make Rukia fall in love with him. It all ended when Kaien-dono got fed up with them, throwing his cup at them and threatening to suspend them for drinking on the job. Again.

Rukia couldn't help but laugh at their antics, feeling her heart swell with a feeling she could only call joy. Being here... had been the right decision. This was what life should be like.

* * *

Everything felt so right when she was around Kaien-dono. Despite his usual sour expression and rough way of speaking, he had a kind heart. He was a good judge of a person's limits and capabilities, and often stopped them for a break before they fell over in sheer exhaustion. He pushed people as hard as they needed to, he gave out the kind words to reward their efforts at the right moments, and he made himself approachable for any kind of issue or concern that anyone had. She threw herself into her training with more enthusiasm because he said she was doing well and improving fast. She wanted to keep on his good side, after he'd placed so much trust in her to go so far as saying that he would always have her back as long as she was in the division. She wanted to be worthy of that trust. She admired him for everything he was.

Perhaps 'admired' was not the right word. Rukia enjoyed being around him; he was like a warm ray of sunshine after you'd just spent the day indoors, or the first days of spring when the snow would start to melt and the buds would start to appear on the trees. She enjoyed his company so much, that she didn't really realize how often or how fondly she spoke of him in the evening talks with her sister. Hisana never commented on it, and only smiled in a knowing way. "It sounds like you're having a wonderful time," she would say, and allowed Rukia to keep chattering on.

It wasn't much more than a week later when, during one of the new recruits' training sessions, a huge commotion started outside the building. Kaien-dono called them to a halt in a hurry and left to see what it was about. A little confused and more than a little curious, the group followed him out, waiting at the edge of the outside veranda as the rest of the division surrounded a small group of shinigami. Rukia stood on her toes to try and see over the heads of everyone around her, but all she could make out was a tall woman with black hair pulled into a knot at the back of her head. She seemed to be the leader of the group. Some days, she hated being short.

"_CLEAR OUT!_" Kaien-dono bellowed, getting the attention of everyone. The crowd fell silent and parted before him as he made his way through the press of bodies.

The woman smiled fondly at him as he approached; that much was entirely visible from where Rukia stood. "As loud as ever," she said, teasingly, when he reached her.

"Someone has to keep these lolly-gaggers in line," he retorted before throwing his arms around her waist and lifting her off of the ground. She laughed, a sparkling sound, her hands resting lightly on his shoulders.

"Put me down!" she said, lightly. "You're setting a bad example."

"Ah, I don't care," he replied, but he did lower her back down to the ground, briefly touching his fingers to her cheek.

Then he turned back towards the building and yelled, "New recruits! Front and center!"

Rukia hurried with the others to present themselves, feeling a very odd sensation deep in her stomach. Once they were lined up, Kaien nodded approvingly. "Recruits, this is Shiba Miyako, third seat of the division. She also occasionally moonlights as my wife."

"Pleased to meet you!" the group chorused, bowing.

"It's nice to meet you all," she said with a smile, also bowing though not as deeply. "I hope Kaien-san hasn't frightened you all away just yet."

"I would never do that!" he protested.

She just smiled again, lifting her eyes to his. "Please excuse me, everyone," she said, raising her voice only far enough so that it carried without her having to shout. "It's wonderful to see you all again, but I must make my report as soon as possible." Apologetic but gracious, she made her way up into the building, glancing back over her shoulder at the people who'd traveled with her to make sure they were alright before disappearing inside.

Kaien-dono beamed a smile in her direction even after she was gone, before turning to assess the mass of people. Satisfied that he didn't need to yell at people to make sure the travelers were being assisted, he instead directed his attention at everyone else. "All of ya, back to work!"

Rukia tried to concentrate on her training for the rest of the day, and thought she made a passable effort. But as she was leaving, Kaien-dono kept her back until everyone else had left, and with a serious expression, told her that she had been distracted and pointed out some of the obvious weaknesses. She bit her lip and lowered her gaze to the floor as he spoke, hardly daring to breathe just in case she lost control of her emotions, which had been fluctuating all afternoon more than she thought, apparently. Kaien-dono stopped speaking abruptly; the sudden silence was pensive.

"Did I do something to upset you, Kuchiki?" he asked quietly a moment later.

Rukia shook her head, swallowing hard. "No," she replied, just as quietly. "I'm sorry; my mind was elsewhere... It won't happen again."

Another long pause. He seemed unwilling to believe her, but she just couldn't tell him about where exactly her thoughts had been. "Alright," he allowed a moment later. "See you tomorrow then."

She nodded quickly and hurried out of the room, unable to bring her head up even as she passed him. She half-ran home, one hand clasped tightly around the scabbard of her sword. It wasn't necessary; the long sheath wouldn't fall out of her sash no matter what she did – they had already tried – but it provided some form of focus in her madly-reeling world. She didn't know what she had expected up until the words "my wife" had reached her ears, but whatever it was, those two little words had shattered those expectations apart.

She was quiet and vague at dinner that night, only speaking when spoken to and frequently giving only the shortest answers possible. Hisana was obviously concerned by her lack of enthusiasm so suddenly after a month full of it, but didn't press anything and let her escape to her room after the meal without a word. She came by later, inviting herself in to Rukia's room, where the younger girl lay curled up in bed, and settled herself on a cushion. She was working on a bit of handiwork as she sat, which she did in utter silence, the sound of the needle and thread passing through the cloth with no more noise than the soft rustle of her sleeves as she moved. Rukia pretended that she wasn't even there, but deep inside, she was grateful for her sister's presence, and her silence. She didn't feel like talking at all, but neither did she want to be alone. When the light got too dim to see by, Hisana set the material down next to her, and continued to sit there until it was completely dark. Only then did she rise to her feet on her way out the door, and paused at the threshold. "Sometimes, a broken heart heals faster than one thinks it might," was all she said, followed by the soft sound of the door sliding open, and then closed, in its track.

Rukia tried not to burst into tears at that, burying her face deep into her pillow as they came anyway. She hadn't thought of it that way at all, but the words just seemed to fit. The outburst of emotion was over quickly and left her feeling tired. She still felt too wound-up to be able to sleep, but it came quickly, drowning out any remaining anxiety within the comforts of its dark domain.


End file.
